I hate relationships. They’re nice and all, but for me it’s always a ticking time bomb. (I’m sure some of you can relate.)
Every time I’m in one, I just know that I’m going to find a way to screw it up. I never know exactly when or how. I only know that the tragic breakup will happen eventually, one way or another. And it doesn’t matter if she’s a goddess like Alex Morgan or a hag like Rosie O’Donnell; I’ll screw it up.
That’s how Norv Turner should feel every time he gets a coaching job.
At some point, whether it’s Alex Morgan (read: Chargers) or Rosie O’Donnell (read: Raiders/Redskins), he’ll screw it all up.
It didn’t matter that this time, instead of the ugly lesbian (read: Raiders/Redskins), he snagged the pretty girl at the bar (read: Chargers). It didn’t matter that he had the most talented team in the league before he could even get his office unpacked. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have to deal with a meddling owner this time around (read: Dan Snyder/Al Davis). It all just didn’t matter, and it still doesn’t.
Norv Turner will be fired at season’s end.
And to save you some time, Don Norcross of the U-T San Diego wrote about some possible candidates to replace Norv, which include: Jon Gruden, Bill Cowher, Denver offensive coordinator Mike McCoy and Seattle defensive coordinator Gus Bradley.
Jokingly (at least I hope), Norcross also included Jim Mora, Dennis Green and Herm Edwards on his list.
Now, I’m not fond of any of those possibilities, but the point is that Dean Spanos should start looking soon.
The Norv-Turner-breakup isn’t too far off now.